Chabelo y Pepito contra Los Monstruos - DVD review

A very Mexican Phantasm meets Monster Squad meets Die Monster, Die.

It is hard to say how the Chabelo phenomenon came to be. Chabelo was already old when I was a kid. But I guess the US equivalent would be sort of a novelty Nightclub/Vaudeville comedy act in which a baby faced adult with a high pitched voice plays a kid.

While it is common for many comedians to be child-like, Lou Costello, Jerry Lewis, Pee-Wee Herman and Rowan Atkinson have done it, it is less common for them to play actual children.

There have certainly been instances in which US adult comedians played children. Stan and Ollie did it. Martin Short did it.

Chabelo is just such a comedian. As far as I know he has played a kid all thru his career. A familiar face on Mexican sitcoms, and some movies, the Chabelo y Pepito movies are probably his best work. He may have started in radio, but I think he is more of a nightclub performer than anything else. Even now, in his seventies(?) he's still doing the same kid act.

In the early 1970's he was teamed up with a little kid called Pepito for a series of films. Pepito is typically the name of the kid in Mexican jokes, so it's an apt name. Every single kid protagonist of a Mexican joke, dirty or not, is named Pepito. Just imagine as if the name Bart Simpson has been used, time immemorial, in every kid joke.

In Chabelo Y Pepito Contra Los Monstruos Chabelo and Pepito are cousins. Chabelo is actually younger than Pepito, but is what is commonly known as a glandular case. He is constantly eating and when he is not eating he is loudly complaining that he will die of hunger.

Chabelo and Pepito are boy scouts and they go on this camping trip.

News reports of a vicious gorilla escaping a zoo are seen on TV.

Pepito's older sister (Silvia Pinal's daughter, Silvia Pasquel) tags along as she is dating the troop leader. None of the boys are happy about this female intrusion, but they can do nothing about it.

The boys help a man in a cart and he warns them not to go the the Devil's House, which is nearby. The man has a curious deformity. This is one of those freaky scenes I remember even though I pretty much did not remember anything else about the movie.

Chabelo and Pepito are so upset about Pepito's sister that they secretly take off in the morning to investigate the Devil's House...

The troop notices they are missing and tracks them to the caverns below the Devil's House...

Lots of strange goings on, some very creepy moments, a few very funny lines, with one an absolute classic, and ultimately a kind of happy ending.
To say more would be to spoil some of the surprises.

But you do meet lots of monsters as listed on the title, no cheats at all (well, cheats of a sort, but genuine chills and thrills.) You will see death and actual red blood on screen, plus a few disturbing off-screen deaths.

This is a very fun movie that goes from one thing to another without a wasted moment.

Yeah, the adult-as-kid is strange if you are not familiar with Chabelo, but it fails to get to Michael Jackson creepy territory, though there are a couple of opportunities for that.

Wait to see the aged Chabelo on TV for that!

Some non-PC seventies Mexican macho culture humor, the English subtitles don't quite capture the flavor of the jokes, but are definitely PG-13, not cleaned up at all!
Still, family fun if you can accept a different culture and a different time.

Recommended!!!

The other two movies I remember are Chabelo y Pepito y la Lampara Maravillosa (The Magic Lamp,) and Chabelo y Pepito, Detectives. Those I don't even remember as well as this one, other than a pirahna pool in one of them.

Chabelo y Pepito, Detectives is a direct sequel to Monstruos. In the last scene of Monstruos C & P have been deputized by the police to help them investigate other cases.

The movie starts with a destruction and mayhem scene worthy of Msrs. Laurel and Hardy. C & P meet with the police and are asked if they are willing to go undercover to investigate a rising in kid crime and some child disappearances. C & P participate in some set-up thievery in a local Mercado Sobre Ruedas, get away with the loot and are soon contacted by a ciminal kid gang.

They agree to join. The get trained by the gang and soon graduate to another, more sinister organization...

Where Monstruos focused on Gothic Horror, this entry is their Science Fiction episode. This movie is now a blend of Los Olvidados, Enter The Dragon, Village Of The Damned plus a caper film of your choice.

Yeah, for a monster kid it is not as much fun as the horror episode. The laughs don't come as often, yet they are still there. I think I laughed more at this one than the other one, however.

Chabelo's big appetite is still there though more subtle. You really wouldn't want this to be simply a copy of the other one.

So here you got your basic Mexican science fiction conspiracy caper comedy.

Recommended if you got kids. My kids are now hooked and they want me to get Lampara Maravillosa for them, which is the Fantasy chapter in the trilogy.


As a side note, I heard rumours that Chabelo had recently been a victim of a kidnapping in Mexico City, and when the kidnappers recognized him, they let him go!


Mmmmm, chuletas de vampiro!

Faith versus Facts

What does faith have to do with evidence?

As soon as you have evidence the view you hold is no longer based on a belief.

If you understand the nature of belief or faith, that is, that you are able to believe without evidence, then I do not understand why you would be insulted when someone else labels it as fiction. The failing is in the person feeling insulted, not in the doubter. The most you could say is that the latter is tact deficient. The least you could say about the former is that their faith is weak.

To clarify my point:

Faith entails an individual's belief without proof. Others who do not share the same faith are bound not to see eye to eye with the faithful. It is inevitable. This is the reason why in an open society there needs to be freedom of faith/belief.

Faith is a term which is often misused.

When proof comes into it, such as with the knowledge of the earth being round. Faith no longer comes into it. We typically call this a fact. Fact is something that is empirically true and can be supported by evidence: that is information gained by means of observation, experience, or experiment.

Fact is also a term which is often misused.

I could say the earth is flat (as was done in the past, and still is, apparently,) but experimentation would prove that this is not the case. Thus I can say for a fact that the earth is not flat.

Contrariwise, I could believe or have faith that the earth is flat, even if evidence points to the contrary.

On the one hand Science cannot possibly explain the whole of the Human experience. On the other hand we have Faith (we also have stuff like Film, Literature, Poetry, Art, Humor, Myth, etc.) These are things that science cannot measure or dissect, but still have bearing on the Human experience.

It does not good to try and mix and match, much like asking someone to prove their faith (or, equally, trying to disprove someone's faith,) but only when Science and the Humanities come together do we have the whole (or an approximation) of the Human experience.

Although Religion openly uses Fiction, as in Parables (or even other things, but I don't want/need to get into that,) to teach important lessons, Religion and Fiction are not the same thing.

Someone who equates them is making a mistake.

As an example I'd like to cite Joseph Campbell trying to explain the meaning of Myth on a TV program, and the host of the program can only respond: "Oh, a Myth is a Lie."
The guy is missing the point.

If Mr. Campbell cannot make him see this, then I would not even try.

I do have a problem with forcing others to respect all beliefs.

While I could respect an individual, as an individual, even if he/she believes the earth is flat, I don't think I could respect his/her faith.

This person is simply ignorant, and nowadays he/she has no excuse to be so.

I still wouldn't be insulting, I think you can see from my post I am expressing myself very carefully and respectfully, but that is just me.

I don't think I have the right to request others to respect his faith.

Simply put, they have every right to think him/her ridiculous and to behave in any manner they choose, even if it is insulting.

Ridicule does sometimes serve a positive purpose.

Is there any such thing as "a right not to be insulted?"

I don't think so.


This kinda stuff happens to me all the time in my family:

My Mother-in-law, for example, will have an outrageous faith-based opinion, which is additionally based on ignorance.

I will respectfully point out the facts as I know them, I will point out that the decision that she is about to make is based on a false belief, and that the results will not be as she wishes them to be, and that she should change her course of action.

If, after a few minutes, I cannot change her mind I will announce I have done my best, and that I will no longer speak of the matter.

And I'm not joking, this happened just last weekend.

If she clings to whatever course of action she was going for, this will not make me respect her more. I can assure you that.
In my view, ignorance and stubbornness are a deadly combination.

If I respectfully allowed her her beliefs, just because they're faith-based, then I would be failing myself.

In my example I am citing that my Mother-in-law believes that an asphalt driveway sealant is a good way to waterproof a flat concrete roof, because the guy that is fixing the roof for her told her it is. She claims this is done all the time, and that this is the way the roof was fixed four years ago, it lasted four years, didn't it?

That fits my definition.

When she disputes me, it is because she thinks it is a case of my word against his. All of this is faith based. It doesn't occur to her that she could read the packaging and trust what is described there.

I actually have no proof that asphalt driveway sealant is the wrong product. But, for example, my arguments include the fact that the warranty will be voided if the product is not used per the manufacturer specifications.

In our society, typically, Faith does not put us or our neighbors in immediate danger.
Someone living in the rain forest is not affected by whatever their belief of the shape of the earth might be.

But there definitely are exceptions: Just think of dangerous cults (such as Heaven's Gate,) or practical day-to-day beliefs, such as my example, not dangerous in this case, but costly.

When we get to the red areas in the dial, it is important to recognize it and point it out in a clear, loud voice.
We need to have the freedom to do this, even if it is uncomfortable for some.

I choose to show respectful behavior, even though I may think the person does not deserve it. This has nothing to do with them, and everything to do with the way I choose to live my own life.
I do not mind being challenged in my assumptions and beliefs, this is something I deal with pretty much on a day to day basis, but I know for a fact that some people do not want to be challenged or contradicted.
I think it is generally a good idea to live this way, but I cannot impose my own lifestyle on others. Everyone should be free to live their own way even if I do not agree with them.

As I've said, there are some issues which should not be left to faith, when there is proof that the faith is badly placed. For example: Selecting the proper products in fixing a roof or even choosing the correct vehicles in a trip around the world.

And there are some issues where faith works as it should, dealing with matters where other disciplines cannot possibly go. For example: Dealing with spirituality or the afterlife.

Recommended viewing: The Power of Myth - Joseph Campbell

Recommended website: Flat Earth Society

The Long And Winding Road

This came to me in a dream:

Once the shortest path is found it will be always be used.

But, no, that cannot be right.

How about:

Once the shortest path is found it will often be used.

Even that is wrong:

Once the shortest path is found it will not be used again, and soon will be forgotten.

Much better.

Life is not about finding the short paths. If that was the case, then people would commit suicide as soon as they figure out they can do it.

Life is about making the trip enjoyable and interesting and as long as possible. People go out of their way to take the long, winding road.

I was discussing this at the office, there was a concern that the geniuses of the past would remain in the past.

Specifically we were discussing the nowadays lack of outstanding and creative engineers. We will no longer have DaVincis or Michaelangelos. People do not seem to want to educate and prepare themselves and always seem to seek the easy answers.

The creative solutions seem fewer and fewer. They are dying out.

I did not and do not agree. I think people are exactly the opposite, though it is not immediately apparent. There will always be people who seek the difficult road, who seek a challenge: People who make it hard for themselves.

How do you otherwise explain people who take joy out of the most astoundingly difficult hobbies?

There will always be people who focus on the details and try to achieve the best results possible.

I don't think we can avoid it. I believe it's in our genes. It is what has help us survive all these millennia, it is what made the first men and women come up with language, with writing, with music, with technology.

All of the survival solutions did not come out of the need to survive; they came out of the need to do something, anything!

Many times we see people who do incredibly dangerous or even stupid stunts. These people are not stupid; they have an unchanneled drive to do these things from which they can achieve either Death or Immortality.

Many times these stunts will cause the death of those involved, but those other times... ...Oh, those other times. We will discover America, discover flight or even take that first step on the Moon.

So, no: I don't think Mankind is changing for the worse. We are and will be what we've always been.

We'll find those solutions, we will make it work.

Recommended video: The Long and Winding Road

Another Job Well Done

I don't like doing the dishes.

But once committed to do them, I will do a good job of it.

First you set up the space so that you can work properly. This means organizing and stacking similar items to reduce the amount of space they use, thus liberating more space for you.

While you do this, you also want to start soaking things. So I put the larger dishes in the bottom of the sink, which is full of warm soapy water. Then the smaller platter goes on top, and so on.

You don't want to stack heavy stuff on top of glasses or fragile things, so these are scrubbed and laid aside in an organized manner.

Cutlery you can throw in the space between the plates, with knives and sharp thing facing away from you. You don't want to start bleeding in the middle of the job.

If you use a dishwasher which we do, basically for rinsing and drying, then you can start with the larger pieces, like dinner plates. Give 'em a good scrubbing and place them on the rack.

Again, you want to have everything organized with similar objects close to each other, using the trays properly, dishes with dishes, and glasses with glasses.

Then the cutlery is next, scrub it and place forks, spoons, knives together. I'll make it easier on you when it's time to put them away.

Once all the main stuff is in there you can place odds and ends in the remaining spaces, taking care to pay attention to the way the water will spray and flow.

You don't want to place an object out of the way of the spray, or where it will block other objects from rinsing.

You also don't want to fill a container with water and let it stagnate.

Once I'm done the dishwasher is a thing of beauty: Organized, functional, even color coordinated.

Pretty simple, no?

Well, not quite.

I've mentioned before how I live with my mother-in-law.

You can be certain that when she does the dishes all of this will be ignored and you will have heavy pots on top of delicate crystal, knives pointing every which way, plates facing each other, out of the way of the water spray and a mess of intermingled objects as if everything was simply thrown inside the machine.

Needless to say they come out dirty.

I've seen this happen before. Old folks stop caring about what once seemed important.

Just so you don't think I pick only on the in-laws, here is an example with my own mother.

I've seen my mother offer grandkids staying with her if they want to have ice cream for breakfast.

That would never happen when I was growing up.

She has given up.

She figures she did her job and now she doesn't need to care anymore.

Here's another with my mother-in-law.

I'm fairly sure most people living in a modern society know that metal objects are not to be used inside a microwave oven.

My kids know it.

In fact, it was my daughter who mentioned that grandma put a glass container with a metal ring inside the microwave oven, turned it on and left to do something else, ignoring or not noticing the blue and pink sparks inside the oven.

My daughter was the one who turned it off.

My wife tries arguing with her and going over what she is and isn't to do.

But I don't think it's going to work.

We can not make her care again (if she ever did.)

I don't think my mother-in-law is senile. She is too young for it.

I think she just doesn't care.

But then again, maybe that is where senile dementia starts.

People just give up; they cease to care about little things, then bigger things.

They let go.

Others may think it is too soon, but for them it isn't.

My mind is very important to me.

I hate to think it's going to go one day, and I think I'm going to try to keep it working all the way to the end.

There is no reason why it needs to go.

I've seen lots of old folks remain sharp all the way to the end of a long fruitful life.

Maybe this is the key.

Don't stop caring about the details.

Once important, always important.

Be creative.

Read.

Write.

Teach.

Care for yourself and for others.

Eat and exercise properly.

Do the dishes every once in a while.

Recommended reading: Book of Mr. Natural: Robert Crumb

Magic

Lately I’ve been reading the Discworld novels.

I was aware of them from a few years back, but since I’d never read anything of Terry Pratchet’s stuff before I had not felt an inclination to start on them.

Some of the “funny” fantasy novels are quite bad, such as the horrible Robert Lynn Asprin Myth series with the awful puns and not much else.

It was almost by accident that I picked up an audio book of Thud!

That was quite good, and then I picked up the audio book of The Wee Free Men.

After that I was not yet hooked, but was into them enough that I picked up Hogfather and Making Money to actually read.

I have just picked up four additional novels and Equal Rites is among them.

Yes more bad puns, but there is more to them than that.

In fact you could do away with the puns and still end up with some deep stuff.

It’s as deep as you want it to be.

Terry Pratchet is not just writing Fantasy, but there is a similarity and connection with Douglas Adams’ output.

Douglas Adams was inspired by Richard Dawkins, one of the proponents of the gene-centric view of evolution.

In essence this means that you do not need a supernatural explanation for what happens in nature.

Evolution by means of natural selection pretty much takes care of it.

Terry Pratchet also mentions the Strong Anthropic Principle in his novels.

The Anthropic Principle is the collective name for several ways of asserting that physical and chemical theories, especially astrophysics and cosmology, need to take into account that there is life on Earth, and that one form of that life, Homo sapiens, has attained sapience.

The only kind of universe humans can occupy is one that is similar to the current one.

Yes, Douglas Adams was an admitted atheist, and it seems to me that Terry Pratchet is also one, taking the baton after Adams has left us.

Therefore Terry Pratchet’s definition of magic is this: Magic is knowledge you have that others don’t.

No supernatural explanation there.

In the Discworld magic is a measurable force much as gravity or atomic energy are a force in ours.

And yet, there are two types of magic, one is the knowledge based one (witch/female magic,) and the other is the natural force magic (wizard/male magic.)

There is no need to go further into it than that, since I also want to mention other views of magic.

Arthur C. Clarke, co-author of 2001: A Space Odyssey (along with Stanley Kubrick,) is also a known atheist.

His definition is this: Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

This means that in, say, Ali-Baba and the Forty Thieves, the magic door that opens to the words of “Open Sesame” is merely an automated door activated with voice recognition software.

The only problem for Ali-Baba is that he is ignorant of any such technology, thus to him it is a magic door.

Pretty much any instance of magic in literature or myth is replicable by today’s technology or at least a reasonable substitution extrapolated from today’s scientific knowledge.

Yes, there is still impossible magic. But you can get pretty close to replicating most storybook magic.

This brings me to “real” world magic. Again there are apparently two different types of magic in the real world.

The first type is commonly known as prestidigitation or magic tricks.

A conjurer does something that is seemingly impossible in front of an audience, without the audiences awareness of what really was done.

This is known as illusion.

We know it did not happen as we perceived it to happen; the true means was hidden from us, by some kind of misdirection.

Any reasonably sophisticated and educated adult is aware of this.

The second type of magic is known as a “miracle."

Are miracles truly a different form of magic or are the same as the first type?

Well, that really depends on how we chose to define the word miracle.

Typically, miracle is something that defies natural laws as we understand them to be.

It does not good to be ignorant of natural laws, because in that situation there are no miracles.

If you do not know what a natural law is, then how will you recognize when an event defies them?

Natural law or the law of nature is a theory that posits the existence of a law whose content is set by nature and that therefore has validity everywhere.

To know what these laws are you must be a scientist, you cannot be merely a casual observer of events.

As I mentioned before, a casual observer (such as the audience in a magic act) can be fooled into thinking that something which in fact did not happen, happened.

I’m not saying that scientists cannot be fooled, they can easily be, but rigorous scientific testing should be considered necessary to determine if, indeed, an event is defying natural law.

For instance, most of the popular Catholic miracles are not necessarily accepted as such by the Catholic Church.

The Church is very careful about accepting claims of miracles and making them official.

The popular view is that these are accepted by the Church, but the fact is that they are not, and have never been official miracles.

James Randi and the JREF offer a one-million-dollar prize to anyone who can show, under proper observing conditions, evidence of any paranormal, supernatural, or occult power or event.

It’s not strange that not one single modern "psychic" or miracle-man has taken up the challenge and gotten the million dollars.

Staying on the subject of miracles, we can again separate them into two instances.

The first instance would be of event which happened naturally without the intervention of mankind, such as for example, the beginning of life or the creation of the universe.

We were not there, the event happened in contradiction of what we perceive on a day to day experience (we have no observable instances of universes being created out of nothing, or of life beginning from nothing, that we could see and study,) thus we can easily call these miracles.

The second instance is events in which people act as agents.

We know many of these are hoaxes, or acts of prestidigitation.

We can prove them to be false, or equally, can provide a reasonable explanation that does not defy natural law.

One example of this is spoon bending.

Uri Geller became famous for this claim, which has ultimately been proven to be a trick.

And yet, people still persist in believing it to be a genuine miracle, by whatever definition of the word they seem to use.

The other instance of human miracles are of events that occurred in the past so that we have only a sketchy description of it, compounded by the problem that we cannot go to the past to observe and study.

One example of this is the miracle of the bread and the fish that is described in the New Testament.

We do not know in detail what happened; we only have an ancient and badly translated text describing it with few, if any, details.

And it is up to us to interpret what the event could have actually been.

The movie Millions has a realistic and reasonable explanation for it: Jesus passed the basket, and as people received it, were ashamed of taking something they did not need, instead ate the food they had brought for themselves and in some instances actually put food on the basket for others that might need it.

When the basket came back to Jesus it had more food than was there originally.

This event is described by an actor playing Saint Peter as a witness to the event.

Saint Peter says something to the effect that originally he did not think it was a miracle, and yet, as he thought more about it, maybe it was miraculous indeed.

The event changed people internally and made them want to share with others not as fortunate as they were.

It’s funny because I’ve seen the movie twice, and twice this scene has struck me.

This second time I saw it made me realize that I’ve seen this miracle, as perceived by Saint Peter, on a weekly basis, but I’ve never recognized it as such.

In Sunday mass, the priest sends out an empty basket, and by the time the basket comes back it is full of money.

Is this a miracle?

Is this what is to be used as the proper definition of the word?

Maybe a miracle is the inner change and growth people experience as they realize they can and should help others.

Maybe a miracle is when people can put aside their differences and live as brothers.

It does not violate or defy natural laws, and yet it happens without apparent scientific explanation.

It seems to me that these kinds of internal changes are what should be considered magic or miracles.

Maybe this is where God is.

A TALE IN THREE PARTS ENDS HERE

Part 3 - THE OLD AARDVARK'S TALE

This is the last part, where everything comes together:

Well, my dears, the Old Aardvark just loved the idea!

He invited the three brave little Ants in for tea, and asked them to tell him their story.

He carefully listened to them tell it, asked them some questions and even took some notes on his scribble pad.

He also asked them to stay the night, as it was getting to be more than a little late, and quite a bit dark. But the Ants couldn't do that; they needed to return to their homes as soon as possible.

There was so much work to be done!

The next Summer, all the animals prepared for their picnic as they did every year.

They baked lots of blueberry pies for their pie eating contest.

Mr. Badger was feeling specially confident that year, he felt he had figured out Mr. Hyena's pie eating technique, and had been practicing for a while.

Incidentally, he had also been putting on quite a little bit of weight, with all that practicing.

They washed and ironed their red and white checked tablecloths and mended and painted their long wooden tables.

They added lots of ice to their lemonade (they also added that little sprig of mint, don’t forget) and they chilled the watermelons with big blocks of ice.

The picnic was proceeding as usual, and everyone was having great fun.

Mr. Badger surprised everyone by winning the pie eating contest and beating Mr. Hyena.

Mr. Hyena was a very good sport about it and congratulated Mr. Badger, shook hands with him, and personally pinned the blue ribbon on him.

The winners of the games and contests received surprise gifts from the judges.

The biggest surprise ever, however, was yet to come.

After all the food and games were over, And after some of the younger animals were lightly snoring in the cool breeze under the tall trees, all the animals got together, as usual, to listen to the Aardvark's tales.

There was a light buzz among the crowd; some were still commenting on Badger's surprise victory.

The Old Aardvark stood up.

A hush fell.

"Ahem..." He cleared his throat.

"Friends," he started "every summer all the animals get together for the big annual picnic.

We make fried chicken and biscuits, Mrs. Giraffe makes a mess of buttered green beans from her prize winning recipe.

And there's always lots of sweet, tender corn, watermelon by the cartload and ice cold lemonade (with a little hint of mint)."

"We play games and have contests and some swim in the lake for hours."

"Everybody has a grand old time, and after everyone has had their fill of the good food and is tired from playing the games, we get together and I have the honor and privilege of telling you my stories."

"I generally start with the story of the time when the Elephant got her trunk stuck in a butter churner, and how only the old Tortoise was able to solve that pickle.

Everyone laughs and cheers at that story."

"I also tell the story of the time when the Bear triplets sneaked into the Rabbit's garden for some tender carrots and how the only thing they managed to get was caught and to be sent home with empty stomachs and a tender behind.

That gets even bigger laughs and more cheers."

"And I always finish with the story of when the Hippos got a hold of Mrs. Squirrel's paint buckets and how they got in a paint fight amongst themselves, and how anyone in the forest could see pink, yellow and purple Hippos, even days after.

That story always gets the biggest laughs and the loudest cheers."

"I will not tell those stories this year."

There were surprised murmurs at this.

The Old Aardvark then proceeded to tell them the wonderful and exciting story of the Ants who braved previously untold dangers in their days of travel to the picnic grounds.

All the animals listened in absolute silence and attention.

There were some gasps from the younger crowd as some of the more exciting passages were related.

Ants are known to be just about the tiniest animals there are, yet they are also known to be among the strongest and bravest animals of all.

When the Ant's story was finished, the Old Aardvark got the biggest and loudest cheers in his storytelling career.

After the noise settled down, the Old Aardvark called the Ants to the front and all the animals clapped and cheered even louder than before.

It was a perfect way to end the day.

It was already starting to get dark, and it was time for everyone to get ready to go home.

So all the animals gathered their things and picked up their trash.

They said their thank yous and their goodbyes, and everyone went home.

Everyone but the Ants, of course, there was so much work to be done!

THE END

A TALE IN THREE PARTS CONTINUES

Part 2 - THE THREE BRAVE ANTS

I hope you like the story so far. Don't worry, nothing scary happens:

Several families of Ants also liked to go to the Animal's Picnic.

Some of the Ant families traveled for weeks before they arrived at the clearing in the forest where the picnic was held.

The Ants enjoyed the food, listened to the Old Aardvark's tales and stayed to gather up grapes, peanuts, berries, pie crumbs, the odd pea, and whatever was left behind, even after the animals did their best to clean up their picnic grounds.

There was lots of work to be done!

If the Ants were not wasteful, the food they gathered after the picnic could last them well beyond the Winter and into the early Spring.

The Ants were very grateful for the Animal's picnic; they also enjoyed the Old Aardvark's tales and were more than a little sad that nobody knew it.

One day they got together and discussed it and decided to do something about it. They chose the three smallest, bravest Ants and sent them to speak to the Old Aardvark.

The three brave little Ants prepared their back packs, put their hiking boots and travel hats and said goodbye to the Queen Ant, their brother and sister Ants, and took off for the Old Aardvark's home.

It was a long trip for someone as small as an Ant. And these Ants happened to be very small indeed. It took them quite a bit of time to get there, but get there they did.

When they finally reached the Old Aardvark's house they climbed the entry step and knocked at the big, wooden front door.

The Old Aardvark was home washing dishes that evening, and barely heard the knock. Yet, heard it he did.

He went to the front door and opened it.

He did not see anyone there!

He looked around a bit in the gathering darkness and finally shut the door and went back inside to finish his chores.

The Ants knocked on the door a second time.

A second time the Old Aardvark opened the door and looked around. He still did not see them.

He stepped back and shut the door once again.

The Ants knocked the door a third time.

At this point the Old Aardvark was done washing the dishes and was now drying them.

The Old Aardvark answered the door a third time, carrying a damp dish towel in his paws.

"Who's there?" he asked. He was more than a little upset at this time.

"Look down below!” answered the Ants, yelling the loudest they could.

The Old Aardvark looked down and was able to only see three tiny specks below him.

He was not as young as he used to be. And his eyesight wasn't very good.

"Please wait here." he requested "I'll be right back."

The Old Aardvark went back inside, slowly walked into his study to get his trusty magnifying glass, and went back to the front door.

He kneeled down the better to see the three little specks.

"So, what's this all about then, eh?" The Old Aardvark asked.

"Every Summer all the animals in the forest get together for your big picnic," answered the first Ant.

"You prepare fried chicken and biscuits, green beans and sweet corn, chilled watermelon and lemonade (with a little hint of mint.)"

"You play games and have contests and you swim in the lake." Continued the second Ant.

"Everybody has a grand old time, and after everyone has had their fill of the good food and is tired from playing all those games, they all get together to listen to your tales."

"You tell them the story of the time when the Elephant got her trunk stuck in a butter churner and how only the old Tortoise was smart enough to help her get it out.

Everyone laughs and cheers at that story." Proceeded the third Ant.

"You then tell the story of the time when the Bear triplets sneaked into the Rabbit's garden for some sweet, tender carrots, only to get caught and to get sent home with empty stomachs and tender behinds.

That story gets bigger laughs and more cheers." Continued the first Ant.

"And you always finish with the story of when the Hippos got a hold of Mrs. Squirrel's buckets of paint and got in a paint fight amongst themselves, and how anyone in the forest could see pink, yellow and purple splashed Hippos, even days later.

That story always gets the biggest laughs and the loudest cheers." Finished the second Ant.

"You always tell these stories. And everyone enjoys them.

We now want you to tell our story." Proposed the third Ant.

And what do you think the Old Aardvark did then?

To be continued…

A TALE IN THREE PARTS

THE ANIMAL’S PICNIC, THE 3 BRAVE ANTS & THE OLD AARDVARK'S TALE

Part 1 - THE ANIMAL’S PICNIC

This story was told to me, long ago, by the Old Aardvark himself. So sit your selves right down on that there big, hollow log and I'll tell it to you, same as he did me:

Every Summer the animals in the forest got together for a big annual picnic.

They started to get prepared weeks ahead of time. There was so much work to be done!

There was always lots of country style fried chicken and biscuits, enough for everyone, courtesy of The Badgers.

Mrs. Giraffe liked to prepare a mess of buttered green beans from her prize winning recipe.

And you could also always count on The Hedgehogs to bring lots of sweet and tender corn, chilled watermelons by the cartload and jugs and jugs of ice cold lemonade (with a little hint of mint).

They organized summer picnic games and contests such as scavenger hunts, potato sack races and their annual blueberry pie eating contest.

Mr. Hyena always seemed to win that last one, beating the Hippos and even the Elephant, for you see, my dear; in this case, size does not matter, it is technique that's important.

They would also swing on an old tire hung with thick rope from the strongest branch of the tallest tree by the lake and jump into it, and splash and swim in the cool summer water for hours.

And you could also always count on games of croquet, volleyball or badminton to be played in the open field sometime in the afternoon.

Everybody had a grand old time during the games and other activities.

But the highlight of the day was yet to come.

After everyone had had their fill of the good food and was starting to get tired from the games, especially after some of the younger ones had been sent under the shadiest old oak to take a brief nap, all the animals got together to listen to the Old Aardvark tell his favorite tales.

The Old Aardvark would first tell the story of the time of the time when the Elephant got her trunk stuck in a butter churner.

Nobody could figure out how to get the Elephant's trunk unstuck, and only after they talked to the old Tortoise did they get a clue on how to do it.

Turtles and tortoises are experts on getting stuck things out of the things they are stuck in.

Everyone laughed and cheered at that story.

The Old Aardvark would then tell the story of the time when the Bear triplets sneaked into the Rabbit's garden to get some sweet, tender carrots only to get caught.

The only thing they managed to get was to be sent home with empty stomachs and tender behinds.

Bears are famous for liking sweet, tender carrots.

That was an even funnier story, and it always got bigger laughs and more cheers.

The big finale would be the Old Aardvark's story of the time when the Hippo family got a hold of Mrs. Squirrel's paint buckets and proceeded to get in a paint fight amongst themselves.

Anyone in the forest could see pink, yellow and purple splashed Hippos.

A colorful Hippo is one of the most unusual sights you can see in a forest.

It took them days to get fully cleaned up.

That story always got the biggest laughs and the loudest cheers.

As soon as the sun started getting lower on the horizon, but before it got dark, the animals would pick up their trash, gather their food baskets and utensils, their croquet and badminton sets, their volleyballs and their nets, and get ready to leave.

They would thank and say goodbye to each other, and everyone would go to their own home.

What none of the animals realized, or even imagined, was that they had not been in the forest by themselves.

Others had been there enjoying the picnic, and would remain for a while longer, even after all the animals had left, and gone home.

To be continued…

Cuatro Ciegos

Cuatro ciegos estaban en una cueva con un elefante...

Ya conocen ustedes la historia.

Yo no la escribi.

Es muy antigua.

Asi es la Verdad. Nuestras limitaciones no nos permiten ver todo, pero si podemos evitar creer que solo nosotros tenemos acceso exclusivo a la Verdad, y si aceptamos que tenemos limitaciones, entonces nos podremos dar cuenta que aun que parezca que lo estamos viendo todo, no es asi.

Hay algo mas alla que no podemos percibir.

Los demas tienen tambien una perspectiva incompleta.

Necesitamos las opiniones y la perspectiva de los demas para complementar nuestra vision de el Universo y de la Verdad.

The Drowning World

I dreamt that the world was drowning last night.

Somehow it was less scary and less sad than you would think.

I tried a public phone to warn people below us in a valley, when I first saw the water rushing downhill, and even though I was asked to keep the line open to report any news, the phone died a watery death. I had to leave it behind.

We kept going to higher and higher ground but the water kept swallowing the earth.

At the end there was only a small hill with few people left. Some people were jumping into the water.

There were only a few feet left between us and the water level before we were gone.

Then I woke up.

Recommended video: The Mother Of All Landslides

Beauty

Disclaimer: I'll apologize beforehand if the following article seems discriminatory. I don't think it is, and my comments and views should apply to both men and women as far as I can tell.

This article was born out of a few things.

A few weeks ago a video of a crazy old woman in a Hong Kong airport became very popular.

In the video a sixtyish woman throws a tantrum that lasts several minutes because a plane leaves her behind.

My first view is that I know people like that. I've seen tantrums like that one.

My second thought is that I feel sorry for whatever poor bastard married her.

My third thought is that, this woman was probably once a beautiful girl that got her every wish, and manipulated those around her, parents, siblings, friends, lovers and got what she demanded every time.

But she has grown to become an old and fat caricature. And whatever evidence ever existed that she once was young and beautiful is now long gone.

It is very easy to look at a beautiful girl, then look at her mother or grandmother and be able to tell what she will look like in the future.

Yep, she'll gain weight, lose those smooth curves, get some wrinkles, get gray hair etc.

Her beauty will fade.

That is easy.

But can you look at an old lady and go back, and see that many years ago she was an attractive young lady? That is more difficult.

Robert A. Heinlein wrote in his novel Stranger in a Strange Land of Auguste Rodin. He wrote that in Rodin's sculpture of an old lady, La Belle Heaulmiere, he captured that long ago faded young beauty of the past.

If you have the ability, you can still see what he saw, and you can see that the wrinkled, saggy breasted old woman in the sculpture was one a full lipped, attractive woman.

It is very hard for me to do this.

Sometimes I can see it.

But also sometimes it is very difficult for me to see that a specific old woman ever had anything youthful or attractive in her.

I think it may have something to do with the fact that few people focus on developing inner beauty.

And when the ravages of time tear away the physical beauty, nothing of substance is left, not even character, which probably becomes more important than mere beauty as you mature.

Can you look at a young girl, and see far into the future, if with the passing of the years she will be able to develop an inner quality that will allow her to transcend the aging of her physical presence? To retain qualities that will allow her to remain attractive, even if her outward appearance has deteriorated?

Can you tell the difference between a young lady that will grow into someone that time cannot touch and someone else who will become an empty, bitter, wrinkled shell of a woman?

That is a talent with a price far above rubies...

Recommended website: Museum Rodin

Recommended Novel: Stranger in a Strange Land

Recommended Video: Crazy woman misses flight

Old Fashioned Things Every Modern Kid Should Do

(Or a Suitable Replacement)

A.k.a. Things Worth Remembering

This article starts with a George Carlin bit.

George Carlin maintained that every kid should be able to pop his cheek.

If you wanted to know if someone was a kid you popped his cheek.

In one of his live performances he has everyone in the audience pop their cheek simultaneously.

It is a glorious sound.

I'm sure kids still do this, but I'm also sure they do it less and less as time goes by.

I haven't seen a kid turn his eyelids inside out in a looong time.

When I grew up I left many a childhood thing behind.

Now that I have kids I have to remember these things for my kids so that they'll have a chance to experience them before they are gone or disappear or simply because they are not readily available and it takes some effort to do or find them.

Board games

I first focused on getting the stuff I had as a kid, but in my research I found a lot of stuff I never had, or even new stuff that beats the pants off anything I might have had.
No more Monopoly and Candyland for my kids, they are playing Fireball Island, Heroscape, HeroQuest, Ticket To Ride and Settlers Of Catan, among others.

Kids nowadays have way better toys than we ever had, and yet they are missing basic experiences.

A robot that can do everything is a very cool thing, but you can't do much with it.

These are some of the other things that take a little more effort to locate, things you took for granted or things you have forgotten.

The Saturday Matinee.

One of the first things I did was get books, record music and movies for them.

Our kid library has pretty much everything worth having, since I try to focus on quality more than completeness.

It takes a while to remember all those obscure cool movies you saw as a kid.

The Ol' Swimmin' Hole.

Yeah, I actually went skinny dipping in the ol' swimmin' hole, and while nowadays it might be hard to find, there are still regional parks and nature centers where you can be close to nature.

No more frog huntin' since they are disappearing from our landscape, but at least you can see some, and maybe take digital photos to take home.

The particular ol' swimmin' hole was developed many a year ago.

Currently we live right next to Otay Regional Park, and while you can't really swim there, you can certainly wade, see cranes, lizards, frogs, crawdads, and even tiny fish!

Springtime the whole place fills with the daisy-like Sea Lion flower.

Dry Ice

We used to get dry ice from the ice cream man all the time. A nickel or a dime got you a nice sized chunk. You might even get some for free, if you asked nicely.

Every kid should have a chance to play and experiment with dry ice. A recent mail order of steaks took care of this. They kids didn't know what the heck they were looking at. AMAZING!

The dining room turned into Mona Lisa's crypt for about an hour or so while the kids and I melted a pound an a half of dry ice.

Not a suitable replacement: A few times as kids we got a hold of mercury from those old industrial lamp bulbs.

When we moved out of an apartment to live in my parents' house we actually did not have electricity for a little while (the house was still under construction,) we used and old honest-to-goodness wood and metalicebox that my dad musta gotten from my grampa.

That is an experience.

Atari

Atari 2600 games are still good, even if you have to play 'em with an emulator in your home PC.

I'll betcha anything a kid could still have fun with a PONG, if you can ever find one and make it work.

Mairzy Doats

Amaze your kids with the Mairzy Doats song! I decided to read the kids a story at bedtime, they liked it so much that I had my wife read them a story too (Peter Rabbit!)

Somehow Mairzy Doats came into my mind during the story and I taught it to them right after.

Of course they went to school the next day, and none of their friends knew what they were singing.

Some are still baffled.

Firecrackers

Sad to see them go, but they are probably illegal in whichever state you live in.

NO suitable replacement either. Noisemakers or virtual explosions are no substitute for hands on experience. The closest is probably your local radio station sky show, or maybe a theme park.

5 minutes to the South of where we live, in Mexico, fireworks are still perfectly legal.

Santa's Village (or any other suitable local tourist trap.)

My vague recollection of Santa's Village is that of a magical place hiding in the mists of my early childhood memories.

Sadly it closed before my kids were born.

Other lost attractions: Lion Country Safari, Movieland Wax Museum, Belmont Park (still there, but much changed,) & the Japanese Village.

There is a wax museum in Tijuana, and fortunately lots of other theme parks still around.

Parlor Tricks

Remember doing that "light as a feather" trick where you lift someone using only 6 fingers?

List your own favorite parlor trick!

Create Your Own Adventure

Basic interactivity.

I got the kids some of those Create your own Adventure Books from a thrift store. They loved them!

Comics

Getting, trading and reading comics is not what it once was. I would get 10-25 cent comics, read them, sell them back to the comic book store, then buy more!

Comics are now so respectable: Graphic Novels, Sequential Art, Manga, Comix. They are an industry. But by this very same reason you can get the old classics in very nice collections: Donald, Peanuts, Hot Stuff, Little Lulu, Popeye for a very reasonable cost, probably cheaper that what you paid originally!

Drive In Theaters

Sunday Family Dinners

The Circus

Climbing trees

Playing with Army Men

Baseball in the Sand Lot

Recommended sites:

Kiddiematinee

BoardGameGeek

Fireball Island

Otay Valley Regional Park

Atari 2600

Mairzy Doats

Santa's Village